How to determine what you want in life?

What do you really want in life?

Most people don’t discover what they want in life until it’s time to die – and that’s a shame.

Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television or doing things they dislike. An author described humanity by saying, “Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty.” Are you one of the living zombies?

What do you really want in life?

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S.A. Quote: Decisions

“To make decisions without thought is like participating in a steeplechase with bandaged eyes.”

Jack Penn (Surgeon, Philosopher, Artist)

Would it surprise you to know that approximately only 3% of the global population do actually do proper planning? Making decisions without thinking about it properly.  Impulsive and uncalculated decisions. Almost just living on instinct…

I do not just mean financial planning, but life planning in general…

Disagree? Okay, let me ask you the following questions:

  1. Do you have a goal, vision, mission, purpose for your life written down? A legacy you wish to leave behind? A dream life you want to achieve?
  2. Do you have a clearly written out list of top three (3) goals for the next 369 days? Not just in the form of business planning but personal planning.
  3. Do you have a clearly written out plan/strategy to achieve these goals within the next 369 days?
  4.  Have you done any research, recording of data, data tracking and analysis in accordance with the goals you want to achieve?
  5. Have you reflected and improved on previously gathered data to realistically plan or strategies your next week, month, quarter or year?
  6. Have you spent time inwardly reflecting on your choices, experiences, lessons learned and the reasons why it could have been prevented?

And with these questions, I am not referring to your list of new years resolutions that fell by the wayside somewhere between then and now…

I am talking about goals which are congruent to your true authentic natural self,  true to your values, true to your talents and skills…?

Would it surprise you to know that only the top 3% for Financial Independent Individuals that have perfected this to an art… only because they invested in themselves by working with coaches and mentors – following a basic outline formula?

Interested in more information, view our Products, Services and Free Resources.

Alternatively, if and only if you are ready to be unschooled, have an open mind and are willing to start your process of discovery and achievement of your own determined success … start here

Author:

Yvonne E. Venter-Louw

YEVL (Pty) Ltd. Director & Principal

Researcher, Advisor, Educator, Coach, Mentor and Speaker

– The Psychological impact  and rehabilitation of past experiences on daily driven Financial decisions

[Cert. Financial Planning + GIBS MLOLP  + RE5 + Cert. Financial Coaching + Dip. Psychology + Hypnosis + NLP + Subliminal Therapy + Numerology + Energy Healing]

Naturally creating Freedom, Meaning & Wealth!

 

Personality and what’s the Real You?

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“Personality” – like many things in life is sort of concrete and can be difficult to define at times. The basic definition is the relatively stable characteristics that are enduring and distinctive which means it separates people from the crowd.

Psychologists that study personalities try to analyse why people act differently to different situations such as why one person acts shy when they first meet a stranger or while some people are just natural and funny and be themselves.  Some scientists believe that this is genetically engraved and that people don’t have much control over this. Other psychologists believe that it’s the environment has a significant say in the way people act.

The truth is that personality is a multi-dimensional topic and requires pieces from various theories because everyone is unique. One theory is the psychodynamic perspective which was discovered by Sigmund Freud. This theory basically states that personality merely exists on the surface and to find someone true personality you have to dig deep in mind. Psychologists who favour this approach believe that personality is an unconscious process, or that the individuals are not aware that they are conceited or confident. He was known for his controversial theory that young boys have a sexual attraction to their mother, maybe he was referring to himself with his romantic relationship with his mother who was 20 years younger than his father.

A theory of the unconscious mind that makes somewhat sense is when people are having a conversation and calls someone they know a different name. For example, if a woman broke up with her boyfriend and got a new boyfriend and calls her current boyfriend her ex-boyfriend name it could mean that he is still in her thoughts.

Freud also believes that dreams hold important motifs in behaviour.  He also believed that personality can be constructed into layers like an iceberg. The part that is buried far below the water is the id or the unconscious aspect. A good example will be children because a lot of time they will act on pleasure without thinking about the end result much. If people would have a strong id personality then this would be a very scary place to live.  People would act on natural impulses rather than conforming to social norms.  The ego is nice to have because it helps people realise reality and help conform to social norms. For example, a lot of people realise that they can’t have their sex and aggression levels high and unmanaged and when they let it go then it usually leads to crimes like rape for one.  Last, the superego also referred to as the conscious aspect is the moral decider.  It decided what is right and what is wrong.  A lot of psychologists didn’t follow Freud’s unconscious theory and a psychologist that was heavily against it was Alfred Adler.  He believed that people were motivated by purposes and goals to achieve something in life.  He also believes that people had the ability to be aware of what’s going on in their life and to consciously monitor their day to day events.  He also believed that people try to compensate for things they don’t have. For example, a person that tries to be superior may be doing it for their own insecurities because they will feel better about themselves by bringing other people down. This theory was known as individual psychology, which states that people are motivated by purposes and to attain goals.  When people attempt to overcome their insecurities this is known as compensation.  When psychologists ignore the unconscious mind they tend to look at the environment more when determining personality, and this is known as the behaviour approach. They believe that you can only determine personality by what you see on the outside surface.  For example, if someone is shy, work hard, and are motivated to achieve something, this is a part of their personality. This theory was founded by an early psychologist named BF Skinner. He also believed that a person personality can change due to the stress in the environment, so he believed that personality was never consistent.  So a person that is shy can be shifted to someone that is aggressive and outgoing, and a person that is outgoing can be shifted into a shy personality all due to their environment. If a person is giving positive reinforcement for a particular behaviour, then it is more likely that it will come up again in the future. A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny.  The central theme in Roger’s approach is the

If people would have a strong id personality then this would be a very scary place to live.  People would act on natural impulses rather than conforming to social norms.  The ego is nice to have because it helps people realise reality and help conform to social norms. For example, a lot of people realise that they can’t have their sex and aggression levels high and unmanaged and when they let it go then it usually leads to crimes like rape for one.  Last, the superego also referred as the conscious aspect is the moral decider.  It decided what is right and what is wrong.  A lot of psychologists didn’t follow Freud’s unconscious theory and a psychologist that was heavily against it was Alfred Adler.  He believed that people were motivated by purposes and goals to achieve something in life.  He also believes that people had the ability to be aware of what’s going on in their life and to consciously monitor their day to day events.  He also believed that people try to compensate for things they don’t have. For example, a person that tries to be superior may be doing it for their own insecurities because they will feel better about themselves by bringing other people down. This theory was known as individual psychology, in which states that people are motivated by purposes and to attain goals.  When people attempt to overcome their insecurities this is known as compensation.  When psychologists ignore the unconscious mind they tend to look at the environment more when determining personality, and this is known as the behaviour approach. They believe that you can only determine personality by what you see on the outside surface.  For example, if someone is shy, work hard, and are motivated to achieve something, this is a part of their personality. This theory was founded by an early psychologist named BF Skinner. He also believed that a person personality can change due to the stress in the environment, so he believed that personality was never consistent.  So a person that is shy can be shifted to someone that is aggressive and outgoing, and a person that is outgoing can be shifted into a shy personality all due to their environment. If a person is giving positive reinforcement for a particular behaviour, then it is more likely that it will come up again in the future. A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny.  The central theme in Roger’s approach is the

Last, the superego also referred to as the conscious aspect is the moral decider.  It decided what is right and what is wrong.  A lot of psychologists didn’t follow Freud’s unconscious theory and a psychologist that was heavily against it was Alfred Adler.  He believed that people were motivated by purposes and goals to achieve something in life.  He also believes that people had the ability to be aware of what’s going on in their life and to consciously monitor their day to day events.  He also believed that people try to compensate for things they don’t have. For example, a person that tries to be superior may be doing it for their own insecurities because they will feel better about themselves by bringing other people down. This theory was known as individual psychology, which states that people are motivated by purposes and to attain goals.  When people attempt to overcome their insecurities this is known as compensation.  When psychologists ignore the unconscious mind they tend to look at the environment more when determining personality, and this is known as the behaviour approach. They believe that you can only determine personality by what you see on the outside surface.  For example, if someone is shy, work hard, and are motivated to achieve something, this is a part of their personality. This theory was founded by an early psychologist named BF Skinner. He also believed that a person personality can change due to the stress in the environment, so he believed that personality was never consistent.  So a person that is shy can be shifted to someone that is aggressive and outgoing, and a person that is outgoing can be shifted into a shy personality all due to their environment. If a person is giving positive reinforcement for a particular behaviour, then it is more likely that it will come up again in the future. A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny.  The central theme in Roger’s approach is the

A lot of psychologists didn’t follow Freud’s unconscious theory and a psychologist that was heavily against it was Alfred Adler.  He believed that people were motivated by purposes and goals to achieve something in life.  He also believes that people had the ability to be aware of what’s going on in their life and to consciously monitor their day to day events.  He also believed that people try to compensate for things they don’t have. For example, a person that tries to be superior may be doing it for their own insecurities because they will feel better about themselves by bringing other people down. This theory was known as individual psychology, in which states that people are motivated by purposes and to attain goals.  When people attempt to overcome their insecurities this is known as compensation.  When psychologists ignore the unconscious mind they tend to look at the environment more when determining personality, and this is known as the behaviour approach. They believe that you can only determine personality by what you see on the outside surface.  For example, if someone is shy, work hard, and are motivated to achieve something, this is  a part of their personality. This theory was founded by an early psychologist named BF Skinner. He also believed that a person personality can change due to the stress in the environment, so he believed that personality was never consistent.  So a person that is shy can be shifted to someone that is aggressive and outgoing, and a person that is outgoing can be shifted into a shy personality all due to their environment. If a person is giving positive reinforcement for a particular behaviour, then it is more likely that it will come up again in the future. A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny.  The central theme in Roger’s approach is the

For example, a person that tries to be superior may be doing it for their own insecurities because they will feel better about themselves by bringing other people down. This theory was known as individual psychology, in which states that people are motivated by purposes and to attain goals.  When people attempt to overcome their insecurities this is known as compensation.  When psychologists ignore the unconscious mind they tend to look at the environment more when determining personality, and this is known as the behaviour approach. They believe that you can only determine personality by what you see on the outside surface.  For example, if someone is shy, work hard, and are motivated to achieve something, this is  a part of their personality. This theory was founded by an early psychologist named BF Skinner. He also believed that a person personality can change due to the stress in the environment, so he believed that personality was never consistent.  So a person that is shy can be shifted to someone that is aggressive and outgoing, and a person that is outgoing can be shifted into a shy personality all due to their environment. If a person is giving a positive reinforcement for a particular behaviour, then it is more likely that it will come up again in the future. A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny.  The central theme in Roger’s approach is the

When psychologists ignore the unconscious mind they tend to look at the environment more when determining personality, and this is known as the behaviour approach. They believe that you can only determine personality by what you see on the outside surface.  For an example, if someone is shy, work hard, and are motivated to achieve something, this is  a part of their personality. This theory was founded by an early psychologist named BF Skinner. He also believed that a person personality can change due to the stress in the environment, so he believed that personality was never consistent.  So a person that is shy can be shifted to someone that is aggressive and outgoing, and a person that is outgoing can be shifted into a shy personality all due to their environment. If a person is giving a positive reinforcement for a particular behaviour, then it is more likely that it will come up again in the future. A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny.  The central theme in Roger’s approach is the

He also believed that a person personality can change due to the stress in the environment, so he believed that personality was never consistent.  So a person that is shy can be shifted to someone that is aggressive and outgoing, and a person that is outgoing can be shifted into a shy personality all due to their environment. If a person is giving positive reinforcement for a particular behaviour, then it is more likely that it will come up again in the future. A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny.  The central theme in Roger’s approach is the

A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny.  The central theme in Roger’s approach is the self-concept which is an individual’s view of their own abilities, behaviour, traits, and personality. If a person has a distorted self-concept than most likely they will be awkward to hang around and associate with.  When analysing self-concept Rogers talked about distinguishing yourself between the real self and the ideal self. The ideal self is the type of person that we would like to be. If a person has a large conflict between their real self and the type of person that they would like to be then the more awkward or maladjusted they will act. To correct this we should try to focus more on our real self and develop a positive view on it and stop caring about what other people want or expect of us and try to have more positive experiences in our everyday lives.  Another way we can help develop a more positive view of our real self is a concept known as unconditional positive regard.  This term can be defined by being accepting of different individuals regardless of their behaviour which is kind of hard to do.  When a person is being rude, aggressive, or disrespectful, as weird as this sounds they still need support and to be loved.  This doesn’t mean to hug someone after they punch you, but more like “I don’t like the way you are acting but I still care about you and respect you as a person.”

When analysing self-concept Rogers talked about distinguishing yourself between the real self and the ideal self. The ideal self is the type of person that we would like to be. If a person has a large conflict between their real self and the type of person that they would like to be then the more awkward or maladjusted they will act. To correct this we should try to focus more on our real self and develop a positive view of it and stop caring about what other people want or expect of us and try to have more positive experiences in our everyday lives.  Another way we can help develop a more positive view of our real self is a concept known as unconditional positive regard.  This term can be defined by being accepting of different individuals regardless of their behaviour which is kind of hard to do.  When a person is being rude, aggressive, or disrespectful, as weird as this sounds they still need support and to be loved.  This doesn’t mean to hug someone after hey punch you, but more like “I don’t like the way you are acting but I still care about you and respect you as a person.”

Another way we can help develop a more positive view of our real self is a concept known as unconditional positive regard.  This term can be defined by being accepting of different individuals regardless of their behaviour which is kind of hard to do.  When a person is being rude, aggressive, or disrespectful, as weird as this sounds they still need support and to be loved.  This doesn’t mean to hug someone after they punch you, but more like “I don’t like the way you are acting but I still care about you and respect you as a person.”

Closing note:

We as a society should take all the above mentioned into consideration when dealing with our own self-development and dealing with others. Only once we can understand ourselves, we will be able to better understand those around us… For not just our own self, but for those we are directly and indirectly affected by our behaviour.

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To your continued success,

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