Naturally: Failing Forward

Failure: It is not the end but an opportunity to learn from. It is not the end of a journey but rather a stepping stone on the path. The road to success is through failure…

I suppose I could go on for days with definitions and quotes on what is understood by us as being a failure and our interpretations of it, not that we need any reminder of this; as it was drilled into us at a very young age. And unfortunately, in my perspective of where I sit today, I believe that how we were taught was completely wrong…

In school we were taught not to fail, it was not an option. We had to ensure that we did very little thing correctly to obtain the pass mark. Memorising facts, dates, formulas, scripts of information that was deemed necessary for us to know. To enable us to be a functional workforce, to retain instruction and through this instruct be able to complete a certain layout of tasks… but what if this is not how we are supposed to learn?

Why is it that we actually retain the lessons of life better, once we have actually failed at it once or twice or more and learned from our mistakes?

This is by no means an instruction not to learn from other’s mistakes, but surely if we do not learn to fail ourselves – then, well then no-one can learn from us and we would not have anybody to learn from. However, it does not matter from which perspective we look at it, failures and mistakes are necessary in our own lives and in the lives of those around us… but how do we fail forward?

To be honest, this is a statement that has had me puzzled for quite a while during my own life and I have seen it around me in so many others as well… for the fear of failure has become greater than the failure itself and now we are told to fail forward?

Through failing we become failures… or is that been a lie as well?

How do we learn to fail forward?

How do we learn from our mistakes?

How do we put things into a perspective of retaining the lesson but not the hurt or baggage?

This is especially hard for a hard-headed individual like many others and myself included. And you will know who I am talking about when I say … the individual who knows within themselves that the path that has been laid before them is not the path for them, thus to the standard norm (whatever that may be) would consider it a failure to comply. There must be another way, as things just does not seem right; this is not how it is supposed to be. This is not the way “I” am supposed to go, “my” path is down another road.

In the past few years that I have dedicated my life to “self-studies”, I have interacted, researched and interviewed several of these “trouble makers”, these “outcasts” and purely found their similarities as a result of a deeper investigation of the truth behind their now seen success. Almost every person that was earmarked in my research of well know wealthy/successful individuals are those that went in some way or form on a different path to the norm. And no, I am not referring to the right path or the wrong path … I am talking about a different path, similar to the phrase form a poem referring to the two paths through a wood, and the author took the one least travelled… the unknown.

I am talking about following our own life-path… not just following the herd or the pack. To learn for ourselves and within ourselves our own capabilities, our own weaknesses, our own strengths, our own interest and dislike; for then and only then can we remove the proverbial splinter out of our own eye before we can take the stick out of another’s eye. For it is only once we have truly learned the lessons of how to handle and control our own perspective to the physical, mental and emotional impact on ourselves in regard to the situations and circumstance we find ourselves in, and how to step over these obstacles or even exclude them from our path completely. And this is where I remind myself of the statement Dr. John DeMartini made: “Obstacles in our lives are either in our way or on our way” and it is our perspective and response, not a reaction but the response to these obstacles that make the biggest differences in our lives….

If I could use two examples out of my own life:

  1. The first time I went ice-skating and I was knocked down by a professional speed skater – yes it was my mistake that created the situation. Looking back today, in hindsight, it was my humble response and my censer apologies for the situation that provided the flow of opportunities that followed from there and all the hours of joy….
  2. In contrast, it was the stubbornness’ of my will to fight the wrongdoings or mistakes that was done towards me, that lead to years of sorrow and pain… From victim mindset to the force of a beast looking for justice and correction – neither of these courses of action providing any ability to move forward.

Unfortunately to many of us, into many different situations, get stuck in example two and through this, we are enduring more suffering and pain than what was originally experienced. We blame ourselves, we blame others, we feel sorry for ourselves, we feel a rage within ourselves to execute our own form of judgement on others… It has the possibility to become a poison that can destroy our life.

BUT what should we do? Just accept it? Lay ourselves down to the mercy of our / their mistake?

At the end of the day, it should actually be both and neither… To truly be able to fail forward, in my perspective, is to balance the censer humble apology with the grace of forgiveness and the understanding from all perspectives of the situation, the mistake, the failure. For it is only in our relinquishing of our ego, in our ability to show mercy to others and in the compassion of taking the time and effort to imagine the failure/mistake from a different viewpoint… that we open ourselves to the true life-lessons on our path. It’s not always possible to maintain perfect balance and it is possible not to lose our temper from time to time, even master teachers had been recorded through history to losing it once or twice… however, our aim is to fail forward, to grow through the stumbles and falls to become a better being in this game of humanity called life…

For too many individuals in this category, the following words will ring true from their past: “You do not know better… You are being difficult for no reason … This is the way we have always done it …” and my personal favourite is “… stop making waves and stepping on toes…”! Branded as trouble makers, more often than not, these individuals have pushed aside and left as “outcasts” on the journey of life. And as in all things in life, this could have either a negative or a positive effect on the individual …or both, in which case their lives becomes a total extreme rollercoaster ride of emotions.

Thus, even if we have to place ourselves in a ‘time-out’ to just take a step back from everything and everybody to review, re-assess, re-align ourselves – then so be it. It is only once we look within ourselves, and understand our own connection between our consciousness, our physical, mental and emotional centres, and our connection with everything else … only then we are ready to master our own life and our perspective of the circumstances that avail in our lives!

May this perspective be a glimmer of light in your life and should you need some free resources to assist you -> click here

With Grace and Gratitude – One is always pleased to be of service to others!

Yvonne E. Ventr – Louw

  • YEVL (Pty) Ltd.: Founding Director & Principal
  • Researcher, Advisor, Educator, Coach, Mentor, Keynote Speaker & Host of the Financial Independence Coach show (YouTube)
  • Personal Thesis: The Psychological impact of past experiences (and rehabilitation thereof) on daily driven financial decisions
  • Naturally creating Freedom, Meaning & Wealth!

P.S.: Are you interested to find out more about the “Why, What, Where, When and How…” uncovered and discovered in the process of writing the abovementioned thesis? Sign up to our direct mailing list -> CLICK HERE

The Road to Intuition

Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?

When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that’s called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or “the third eye”, sensing clearly and feeling through listening.

Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.

Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as “hunch” or “gut feel.” This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can’t explain it and all you can say is “I just know.”

On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to “listen” between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is – be it a car’s honk or a bird’s twitting – ushers in an intense feeling.

Read moreThe Road to Intuition

Freedom: 5 Ways to prioritize

The secret to being the best is to actually getting started. It is DECISIONS that leads to ACTIONS to SUCCESS – Mark Twain

How many times in life have we found ourselves with the most brilliant solutions to our problems but yet we do not get started with it…? Not only do we compete with the self-doubt in the 6 inches between our ears, most of us reading this were not mentored how to take-the-bull-by-the-horns.

Robert T. Kiyosaki has been quoted in saying – “Do you have the courage to take the first step? It’s often not a lack of knowledge holding the one back, it’s fear and an inability to get past it that does.

I have spent most of the past years of studying the great mentors and ‘gurus’, wondering how do I get started…? How do I do proper planning…? How do I track and record …? But the BIGGEST question was where do I start…?

It was only after that I realised I am not the only person asking these questions… For this reason, I have developed and built the how to “Master Plan My Life”. But even with these templates and tools, we cannot move past the procrastination or lack of internal motivation … IF, we still do not where to start.

From Stephen Covey, Dr Joh F. Dermartini, Robert Kiyosaki, Blair Singer, Tony Robbins, Brian Welsch, Barry Mitchell, Frank Kern … you name them, all these coaches and mentors have somewhere along the way stated these 5 steps to get from the starting line to achievement!

In summary:

Read moreFreedom: 5 Ways to prioritize

Financial Independence Coach Show: Testing format and recording

Stepping into a new project can be daunting, especially when it is a completely new arena. Yes, I have been on YFM … but those three sessions was two over the phone and the one in the studio was not even 10min long. Taking these steps into talk radio is a challenging and existing adventure. After episode 1, we decided to record the full session, to be able to post it on our YouTube channel and start getting content follow there as well. For me, it is a way to measure my personal performance for myself.

When you speak to those who know me intimately, they will tell you that I am actually an introvert. Although I have learned … and mastered the skills to be an extrovert, to the extent that almost everyone I meet is convinced of the fact that I am an extrovert, I am an introvert by nature and nurture.

So much so, when I requested a few close friends, clients and family to review the following recording … one of my friends/clients told me that I am being a hypocrite… a hypocrite? … for preaching to him about being your natural self and here I am being … well an introvert, not my lively, bubbly, energetic and all most overbearing self.

Truth be told … sitting in the studio for me is like sitting in my “cave” enclosed in my research, my studies, my creative process and just following the flow of my natural thought process to come to solutions and resolutions. Admittedly, that is not what this show is all about and should we wish to achieve the aim of this show, I will have to change the structure and my presentation. Ultimately this show is for you, the listener, to assist you to move forward. TO enable you to naturally create your own freedom, meaning and wealth!

Michael, thank you for your honesty and brutal feedback. I promise I will adjust the content to reflect the other side of my personality as well…

Without further delay, here is episode 2 of our new show on BrandLive.co.za

With gratitude,

Yvonne E. Venter-Louw

 

Thursdays In Black

The first day I heard of “Thursdays In Black“, I almost started crying…

Not because of the way the presentation was done by Lyn van Rooyen or even the stats that was mentioned … It was the fact that deep inside to me that little voice screamed “Hallelujah” 

Finally, there is some manner to show support to all those who are currently suffering, to protest and to proudly announce that what is happing/had happened is not the end.

16 Days of Activism should be every day!

I am more than just a survivor … yes, I was abused for 9 years of my childhood and suffered in my first marriage – Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse and Sexual Abuse… the hands of those who we were supposed to be trusted, who are supposed to care for us and nurture us.

And yes, it has been an extremely long and hard journey, to move past the physical scars, work through the psychological impact to come to an understanding of those actions and ultimately getting to a point of forgiveness towards those individuals.

There are no reasons why anybody should suffer and go through this…

BUT when I felt so isolated and alone, I wish those who I did inform and ask to help did actually speak up, to make a difference not just in my life but in the lives of other abused individuals; I wish they would have taken action …

In hindsight today I have perfect 20/20 vision and I can let go of the pain, let go of that which does not serve me. I can move forward in life knowing that I have made it this far and my entire future is still waiting for me.

But the GRANDEST GIFT OF ALL … I can tell my story, through my experience and the resulting quest to find the answers, I am able to help those who are feeling the same way I did so long ago.

We do not have to continue to suffer from the impact of the psychological scars nor do we have to accept this. We can be emotionally free, we can function independently … we can continue with a life filled with success…

All we have to do is to make the right choices moving forward!

For more information visit ThursdaysInBlack or email Lyn van Rooyen 

With Gratitude,

Yvonne E. Venter – Louw

 

 

Meaning – How to effectively change the Relationships with Community, Spirituality, Religion and Self

Meaning?

Living a life of Meaning?

What is a truly meaningful life?

As most of us, I spent the biggest part of my life thus far trying to find out more about creating the meaning of my life that has been and what is to be. Looking everywhere, in relationships, in my studies, in my work … even in the lives of my three ‘miracle-babies’ … and yet, I have failed at finding it for such a long time.

Read moreMeaning – How to effectively change the Relationships with Community, Spirituality, Religion and Self

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